Right now my mind is whirling. A few things that are on my mind and plaguing my thoughts:

- I made a fool of myself Saturday night. I went out with a friend and her friend and I drank a ridiculous amount and ended up wasted.
- I have destroyed friendships, and I am not sure if I will be forgiven by them or by myself. I am tired of doing this. It is also reinforcing my thoughts that I am a toxic person to be friends with.
- I am nervous about things that are coming up this month.
- My urges to self-destruct are high.

There are some good things that I am trying to remember though.

- I am doing pretty well at improving things with my current job.
- I have an amazing treatment team. I am actually somewhat looking forward to seeing my nutritionist today and my therapist on Wednesday.
- I still have some friends, and I am going to try not to lose them.
- My financial situation might be improving.


I don't know.

I have thought about updating this blog several times over the past few days but I hadn't done anything about it. I have been somewhat quiet in general I guess. I am going to try to update this more often. I know, I know, I have said that before. Maybe I can challenge myself to at least write a sentence or two about each day.