Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Just Typing

I have a little bit to type before my therapy appointment. What do I want to say? Well, I am going to start with one thing on my mind at the moment and we will see from there.

My anxiety has increased to a large degree the past week. I have had a couple of panic attacks even. I am not used to having those often. Some of this weeks' events would naturally increase my anxiety, but others? Not so much. It is kind of scaring me.

I am realizing that the ADD med I am on isn't working for me. I guess I am at a high dose but I am still unable to focus and am eaily distracted and such.

Facebook can be evil. It can remind you of people and events that hurt to remember now, even though they brought joy at one point. I am letting her make the first move. If no movement has been made by the end of March, I will try to talk to her again I guess. If I can wait that long. Maybe November? I don't know. So many laughs and good memories are attached to that friendship. I am hoping it isn't over forever.

Even right now, I have already taken an Ativan yet my nerves are off the charts. My anxiety is so high that I keep losing my breath and I keep tearing up some. I don't know what to do.

I am annoyed by a new TV show on Bravo called Thintervention. UGH. I don't even want to get into it.

So far today I have had a strong urge to restrict. I fought it though and ate my breakfast/snack combo.

Last night I bought seven pairs of pants for work. I am not sure why I am stocking up for a job I might lose soon. I need the pants though. Most of my current ones fall down or look ridiculously baggy.

Still anxious.

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