Monday, August 30, 2010

Back to Black

Ah, so I had been trying to grow my natural hair color out (from the black I had been dying it.) Of course, having about 2-3 inches of light brownish with a tint of red hair on top and the rest black looked a bit odd. The funny thing? It was one of those temporary colors but it lasts forever on me, ha ha. So yeah, I had been trying to get to my natural color so I could start using a dark brown instead of a black, that way when my roots started to show it wouldn't be as obvious.

Yeah, that didn't last. I got tired of it, it looked so plain and not me. While black is not my natural color, I loved being raven-haired. People thought it was natural, it looked good on me, and  I like black hair. So yesterday after hanging out and playing some cards and strategy games with people, I went to CVS and bought some black dye. I thought about waiting until next weekend to color it but damn...I wanted it back NOW. I now have black hair once more. I feel so much more comfortable.

I also want to talk about an online community site called Meetup. When I was in the hospital not too long ago, one of the members of my treatment team mentioned the site. I wasn't really social and really didn't have any friends at the time, aside from internet friends anyway. I will admit, when she brought it up I thought it was going to be so sucky. I delayed joining for about a month and then I decided out of boredom to give the site a chance. As it turns out, it is a really cool site to join! You look for various groups in your area based on your interests, and the site will list various groups that match. I have joined several groups but I haven't been able to make it to meetup events for a lot of them. I have gone to events for 5 of the groups. Some have been more my style than others. Some people have been friendlier than others. All in all, I can definitely recommend the site to anyone, whether you have an active social life and wouldn't mind doing some new things and meeting new people, or if you don't have too much of a social life and feel kind of alone or isolated.

I went to a meetup yesterday and had a blast. There is one group that I really like and like some of the members and hope to become friends with them...which is in the works actually. So yay! I am getting out there, meeting people, and possibly making friends. It sure is a difference from my past isolative history.

You know you want to try it out now...I know you do. Do it! He he!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Retouching Nightmares

Okay, I understand that sometimes retouching might be needed for a magazine, photo, etc but really?! Really?! Sometimes things just go too far. I could paste a whole bunch of examples but chances are if you are reading this that you have seen several. If not, just let me know and I can direct you to some.

Anyway, as I was tackling the crazy-ass zoo that is Harvard Square today, I noticed the September cover of InStyle. Is it just me or does Hilary Swank look odd?

What's up with her neck? And does her waist and chest seem smaller than they should be? Is this just me? It is fine if you think so, just let me know below.

Another thing that I came across recently was a huge controversy over a 16 year old model, Michaela Steenkamp. She is a contestant on the second season of New Zealand's Next Top Model. One of the photoshoots involved photos of the girls/women in very little clothing, mud, and steam fashioning headdresses and jewelry. Michaela was photographed topless with a little bit of mud covering her "naughty bits," ha ha. People flipped saying that she is too young to have such a photo taken and that it is inappropriate. The television station disagreed but changed her photo on the site by adding additional steam covering more of her chest. Now, considering this photo has not been published to the masses, I cannot post the picture for copyright issues. (I am hoping the cover above isn't an issue either.) Anyway, here is a link to the television station in New Zealand who is airing the show. Now, in my opinion, several photos taken for the modeling world could be considered art. Also, revealing photos are pretty common amongst professional models. Models know that before signing contracts and such. I am also sure that her parents were given a waiver to sign or something before the show even began to be filmed. There are people who do feel that the original photo was very innapropriate and disturbing. Some have even compared it to kiddie porn! I think in no way can it be considered along the same lines as that. Sooo...what do YOU think?

I really would love to read your opinions (if anyone actually reads this, ha ha.)

That is all for now!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Weekend

* originally written on 08/16/2010

The past few days have been rather rough. Thursday through today have been hard food-wise but then other things have been rather difficult as well. My sleep has been very off. I am the reason to blame for this. I know that and I am working on making it better. I am also working on making the food situation better as well. I do not want to lose control again. I do not want this in my life anymore.

Thursday was a rather ballsy day for me. I ran late to work and as I got to one of the subway stations, I saw a woman taking all the copies of a certain free magazine out and tearing off the back of the magazine which showed a restaurant ad. I HAD to know the reason for this so I asked. She started to answer but then looked at me and realized I was just some random woman wanting to know so she stopped herself mid answer and simply said, "Have a good day." I asked if she was hoping to see the restaurant fail or something and she repeated to have a nice day. So, when I got to one of the ticket windows, I let security know. He he! I mean really? Chances are that the restaurant that paid to place their ad in that magazine probably would not have appreciated this crazy woman's actions. Maybe I overreacted but oh well, what's done is done.

As, approached my office building, I saw two co-workers headed out to get some coffee on their break. One of them has been constantly talking about my weightloss. She stopped and said hello and then said, "Wow! Look at you! You have lost so much weight! (Not true by the way.) If you keep it up there won't be any of you left! What's your secret?" My response? "Having an eating disorder." I walked away after saying that. One of them laughed so she probably thought I was making a joke, but really, I just don't care anymore.

While a co-worker and I were debating about various things (we debate often and it is kind of fun for both of us,) we came to the subject of Michelle Obama. I mentioned her "fight against obesity in children" and voiced my annoyances with the actions being taken. My co-worker then brought up the fact that weight can go extreme in the other direction as well (duh.) She said, "Several years ago eating disorders were pretty high in number, but I don't think it is as much of a problem now." I naturally made some kind of face and she asked why. I simply pointed to myself and she knew what I was saying. We didn't keep on the subject though, we moved on which was good.

There isn't much to report about Friday but the same cannot be said for today and over the weekend.

Saturday I slept very late and had a hard time finding the motivation to do what I needed to do in order to treat myself well. I thought about going to a church to play Bingo (he he) so that got me moving eventually. I made it to the church on time and was SO lost about what was going on! I had only played Bingo online really so this was a whole new experience. You had to pay in order to play since there were cash awards being given. So yeah, $20 later, ha ha. Oh well. I did have some fun except for a rather annoying guy who wouldn't leave me alone. He kept thinking he was "helping" me...ugh. Anyway, on one of the games where the prize was $500, I was ONE number away! Ack! It was a blackout game (meaning you had to get every number on that card to win.) There will be another time though. And just so you know, I wasn't the only young person there. There was a couple in their early twenties there as well. Here is a picture from that night:

I ended up walking for a while after the game (which ended at 10!) I was talking with my Mom on the phone when my cell phone battery died. I was a few minutes walk from home so I couldn't call her right back right away. I came to my apartment and plugged the phone into the charger and went to relax on my computer. I had my phone on vibrate so I didn't hear my Mom calling me...4 times. Oops. I caught it the last time and called her back. She was so worried that something had happened to me.

Sunday I had two different meet-ups scheduled (through I was supposed to have brunch with one group at 11am and then meet up at the Esplanade for another that started at noon. Well, it didn't exactly work out that way. I ended up getting exceedingly lost. For some odd reason my brain just would not function at a decent level at all. I finally got there at 11:30am and looked around but I didn't see the people I was supposed to meet. I decided to sit down and eat something alone even though my mind told me just to use this as an excuse to restrict. Nope. So as I was waiting for a waitress to come take my order, a woman I recognized from the group's website asked if I was Karen (Kaz.) I joined her and a guy at another table. We chatted for a bit. I am honestly not sure how I feel about the group just yet. Time will tell.

I was late leaving that group to head to my other group. I ended up leaving the cafe at 1 and the second meetup started at 12. I thought it would be alright though. I walked to the subway and saw that there was a car waiting so I quickly hopped in it. A woman there informed me that the car had not moved in quite a while. I was a little discouraged but sometimes these things happen and are taken care of rather quickly. Nope. We were told to leave the car and that there would be no service on that line. An employee of the transit system was offering directions for individuals trying to get to various places. I asked how to get to the nearest station and he told me. Well...that is what I thought. I walked for about 3 hours with his lousy directions. I never saw either of the 2 stations he mentioned. I actually did find another station though. I ended up getting to the event around 4:15. Thankfully, the group was still there. I stayed and had a good time until about 8. There was one incident that put a damper on my mood though. I was wearing shorts (something I NEVER do but since the weather was going to be somewhat hot and humid and I knew I would be outside I did) and a guy saw some scars on my calf. These scars were self-inflicted. He asked me how I got them. He asked if a cat attacked me or something. To that I simply replied no and went back to what I was saying before. After a couple of minutes he said he would really like to know about the scars. I told him I did not want to discuss it. I was scared to say that and afraid that he would continue to press the issue but thankfully it was dropped and I soon joined some other folks.

So yeah, super long post. I know.

More posts to come! I promise!

Um yeah. I have been working on an update post for quite a while now but I have yet to finish and post it. Soon. I promise! In fact, I plan on working on that tonight along with other things.

In the mean time:

Boston: rainy, windy, at times chilly
Me: struggling, fighting, determined, hopeful
Phoebe: furry, fluffy, adorable, hyper, a tad overweight

Hope everyone is doing alright. Take care!

Friday, August 13, 2010


It has been a very long time since I have updated this. I think I am going to try to keep up with it again. Hopefully I won't suck at following through, ha ha.

One thing I am planning on doing is posting a "Random Pic of the Day" kind of thing. Though, be forewarned that it might not actually be daily, and sometimes there may be more than one.

So today's random pictures:

I know this is a crappy photo but I didn't want the guy to know I was taking a picture. Plus this keeps me from having any legal issues with posting pictures of him without his permission, ha ha. Anyway, those American Flag shorts were CRAZY short!

Who the hell is this supposed to be? And why would they place a bust of him amongst plants?

I wonder why someone felt it necessary to leave these behind. Any thoughts?

Okay, so I also need to just post a general update on what has been going on with me lately but I will save that for another day methinks.